Saturday 16 February 2013

Being a Writing Coward.

If you're not aware, I'm in the precipice of being a writer...well kind of. 
I'm a writing student at University, I write (almost) everyday, read a lot (thank you Uni readings) and...well...I just want to be one, OK? I don't need to justify it to you; though I was the one who started it. 

Through Uni, they've given us a range of tools to get our works published. 
Techniques on storytelling, writing and editing our work,
The expectations of publishers, the knock backs and the comebacks we'll have to deal with AKA preparation for the real writing world,
The chance to work with people in the writing industry, both locally and internationally and in a vast range of genres. 

Another tool they have given us (well lead us to) are literary journals; magazines waiting for your unpublished, fantastic prose to print. Whether it's poetry, short stories, non-fiction; if it's good enough, they'll publish it. 
The idea of an actual journal publishing my work is the most exciting thing I can think of. 
Despite most of these journals being small, local, hardly read by anyone and not-for-profit - few journals pay money for your work; they don't have the funds - I still (badly) want my work to be in one of those journals. 

I've had a look around and found a couple of local journals that encourage local writers. I think this is a good place for me to start. 
I have even narrowed it down and after look at some (buying them is a good idea to get a feel of what they're after) I have even chosen which one I'd like to send my work to. 
Yes; I have a piece of work waiting to be sent. I wrote it late at night weeks ago (I found out some news that made me angry and hence a good muse for my writing) and since then I've edited it, formatted it, read it over and over and if I had to be honest - I quite like it.

Then doubt creeps in. 
I keep thinking that it's not good enough; that the editors will take one look at it, burst into laughter and send a "are you serious, this is the worst crap we have ever read" email back to me. 
I know it's silly, and even if it is crap (which it is) they'd never put it in those words. 
It's a horrifying thought, thinking that someone, somewhere (and being a small city, not far away from me) is looking at my work and deciding whether it's good enough for print - no matter how small that publisher is. 

I have a deadline; submissions for issue 4 are due early March; if I don't send my work in by then I'll be kicking myself, and I will have the nervous wait of the next issue submissions (months away). 
If I do send it in, I'll be kicking myself; what was I thinking; my work isn't good enough to be in one of those lit mags! 
I'll never know until I try. The bottom line is; if I don't hand anything in - then it will most certainly never get published. 

I just need to get over my Cowardly Lion act over writing:

"I do believe in books, I do believe in books, I do, I do, I do, I do." 



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